ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I try to be polite and patient when dealing with so-called customer service reps; I swear I do. I've listened to their endlessly repeated robo messages with no choices that fit my problem, their screeching hold-music, and their endless requests for the same information.

If I ever get to a human being, they say they'll put me ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was watching one of my all-time favorite bands with my wife. Suddenly, halfway through the show, the venue announcer told the crowd behind us to fill the empty seats in the amphitheater. I did not have a problem with that, although I paid double to get our seats compared what general admission paid.

A drunk man and woman ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of our ladies' restrooms at work has a push-open door; there is no latch and no handle on the outside. One of my co-workers tends to blast through this door at top speed, often startling a person reaching for the handle on the other side.

Today, after narrowly avoiding being struck hard by said door, I'm afraid I made a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I visit my local gym multiple times a week to do cardio and strength training. It's not uncommon for members to use their mobile phones as part of their regimen to access workout routines or to time their activities.

However, many members will complete a short set of exercises on the machines, then stay on the machine or ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: To settle a debate: After an election has been "called," which candidate properly phones the other? The winner or the loser, and why?

I say it's like a tennis match, in which the winner graciously makes the first move to contact the other side, so as not to appear arrogant.

My colleague counters that to do so rubs salt in ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: This is our second year to host my husband's family for Thanksgiving. Last year, my brother-in-law and his wife extended our invitation to her parents, her brother and his daughter -- members of her extended family who I have met a few times, but don't know well.

I made room for them, but I would prefer to not have people I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm registering a vote to ABANDON MANNERS in a certain context.

Lately telemarketers have a new strategy: They just keep talking without letting you get a word in. They'll even keep asking the same questions, even if you choose not to answer them.

I hung up on one of them yesterday, but I'm feeling bad that A. I didn't hold ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The wife of a close friend and college roommate from many years ago started an elite travel agency. They are not hurting for money, as he earns a very good living as a medical professional and they own two impressive homes.

A mutual friend confided in me that she, her husband and friends planned a vacation through their ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My partner and I are working on our plan to handle gifts gracefully. We're fortunate to have everything we need, and lean strongly toward not mentioning gifts at all in our pre-wedding communications. When guests inquire about gifts directly, we reply with a simple, "We're just looking forward to celebrating with you."

But we...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a close neighbor who has now berated my husband and me several times for comments she found offensive.

The first time, her 6-year-old child was close to harming our infant daughter, and my husband asked him to back off -- not unkindly, and only after giving the neighbor a chance to intercede first. The neighbor ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a young child with a severe and visible disability. He is under the care of a well-trained team of professionals.

My husband and I often receive well-meaning but unwanted advice. When we receive unsolicited information, it is helpful to remember these people are usually sharing it out of a place of love because they ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When we asked Grandma about when she met Gramps, we got a lot more than we expected. She started talking about her various boyfriends, how popular she was, and how she kept them dangling, not even knowing for sure how many she was seeing at the same time.

Our Grandma was a slut! How are we supposed to take that? And Gramps ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend and I were invited to a costume party, so that means I had to make or rent a costume. The woman who was hosting told everyone to bring a beverage and a gag gift.

This might have been OK, but she also said every guest had to pay $5 to attend. We are not teens or college kids, we are all adults.

I feel that if you ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been going to a nail salon twice a month for two years. The owner and staff are all Vietnamese. My manicurist gives wonderful mani-pedis, and I have no complaints about the service.

At some point during each appointment, and sometimes several times while I am there, the owner and some employees will have a conversation...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have just returned from a weekend at a so-called friend's home, and talk about feeling unwelcome. She was on my heels "cleaning up" after me all weekend, and I didn't make a mess!

I was given a towel and washcloth. After using them, I neatly hung them on her towel bar, only to be later told that they had been moved to the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my friend of over 50 years and I lived only an hour and a half from each other, I spent a great deal of time at her house. This included spending time with her husband, and we all got along very well.

But on their 45th wedding anniversary, which was my last time to visit as I was moving away, her husband propositioned me...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are professionals who contribute generously to many charities. Of late, however, we are noticing an unsavory practice of certain "society hosts" who head various charities: They invite us to their galas and parties, charging for the honor of being invited in order to raise money for the charity.

We have ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Why is it considered rude to ask an adult his or her age?

It's a fact of life, just one aspect of a whole person, and it's not like keeping it a secret is going to prevent the onset of old age.

GENTLE READER: The sad answer is that our society considers growing older to be a misfortune, if not a personal failing.

People, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I took a new colleague to lunch. We were having a nice conversation about baseball when he said, "I've always felt inferior for being short."

Huh? I said, "Maybe you'll grow up."

Stupid and mean, but what was I supposed to say? "Everyone loves you anyway"? How was I supposed to react? He IS short. Should I have told him he's...Read more