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    <title><![CDATA[Jokes - ArcaMax Publishing]]></title>
	<link>https://www.arcamax.com//entertainment/humor/jokes/rss</link>
	<description><![CDATA[Jokes News Feed]]></description>
	<language>en-us</language>
	<copyright>Copyright 2026 ArcaMax Publishing</copyright>
	
	
	
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		<title><![CDATA[Non-Deep Thoughts]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[- I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

- I had amnesia once -- or twice.

- I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

- All I ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-974853</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/02/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[In a Vacuum]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. She rolled the dice and she 
landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and 
someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-974852</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/02/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Lost in the Desert]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2
weeks.

One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls
up to the house and collapses on the doorstep.

The missionary finds him and nurses him back ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-86808</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/02/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[The Baptism]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the
river.

He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher.

The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you
ready to find Jesus...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-86806</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/02/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Thinking "Out of the Box"]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Many hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town,
a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum
of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who
was old and ugly, fancied the merchant's beautiful
daughter so he proposed a bargain. He said...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-16750</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/02/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Automobile Acronyms]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long
<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1226253</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/01/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Red and Blue Lights]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Judi was sitting at the defendant table while the state trooper was being cross-examined on the witness stand.

The lawyer asked, "When you stopped Judi, were your red and blue lights flashing?"

"Yes, sir, they were."

"Did the defendant say ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-974349</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/01/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Breaking In]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-974348</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/01/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Eat the Watermelons]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.

The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-86814</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/01/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Dangerous Dihydrogen Monoxide]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-86813</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Nov/01/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Highway Patrol Stop, part 3]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[... continued from above

'After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

'Got bored doing dentistry, so I ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1416156</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/31/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[More How To Know You're Ready For Parenthood]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[<b>NIGHT TEST: </b>
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of 
sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8 PM begin to waltz and hum with the 
bag until 9 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, 
...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-973741</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/31/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Where's Barney]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor 
looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find 
Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent.

Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-973738</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/31/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Rednecks Go Fishing]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-86817</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/31/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Talkative Public Bathroom]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I just sat down when I hear a voice from the next stall...

...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-86407</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/31/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Faults]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-250896</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/30/2026</pubDate>
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  <item>
  
		<title><![CDATA[No leak]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[That's not a leak, my car's just marking its territory!
<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-250882</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/30/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Blonde's First Cell Phone]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone and he explains all the features on the phone.

The next day, ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-86411</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/30/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Listening]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[The teacher, during an English lesson, asked her students: "Now tell
me, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no
longer interested?"

Little Johnny, in the back row, raised his hand.

"Yes, Johnny," said the teacher

"A ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-16239</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/30/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Soap and Water]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
After several exciting dates, Jim invited Tina over to his
house for a home-cooked dinner.

When she sat down at the table, she noticed that the dishes
were the dirtiest that she had ever seen in her life.

"Have these dishes ever been washed?" ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-16237</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/30/2026</pubDate>
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